I'm pretty sure I've already written about how much I've been trying to avoid any discussion of the social or political kind, mostly because I'm not properly equipped to be involved in such, but I've already forgotten where I put that damn post. Oh well.
Anyway, this is merely a reaffirmation of my previously-stated stand on political/social issues and/or current social trends: I don't have any particular stand on anything, I don't take sides, or, at the very least, I am inhibiting myself from being a part of one.
I may have some ideas and thoughts about such issues, brewing inside this tiny brain of mine. But they're all underdone due to the fact that my education in these issues is only as much as the amount of relevant information that a glance on Facebook or a quick read on some news site can provide, which happen to be very inadequate for the purpose of having a meaningful discussion of said issues.
Now, I am fully aware that since I am a part of this society and a citizen of this country, I am somewhat responsible for taking part in the public exchange of ideas in order show that I actually care about what's happening. Also, even though I may not seem like it, I do care about our society in general, since, at the end of the day, everything that's happened within our country will eventually find itself into my life, and of course I would want to be prepared for when that happens. So yes, I am compelled, through the awareness of my responsibility towards society and the concern for my personal well-being, to learn about these national issues, read about them, and talk about them with other people who actually care about these things. It is a responsibility, to myself and to others, there's no doubt about it.
And make no mistake, I do want to get involved. I do fancy the idea that there are some things in this society that I think will improve a little bit (or a lot, depending on whether or not you'd agree with me), if only I was allowed to add my own personal touch to them. Yes, sometimes I do like thinking about the things I could try to do to fix this nation and the people within it.
So there, I do want to join in.
But, well, to give you the short version of things, I'm just too preoccupied with my own goddamn life to worry about things like politics and social issues.
I currently have two major responsibilities in my life right now: my work and my schooling, both of which need my full-time attention, which is already a burden in itself. So that already eliminates the possibility of me trying to read up on relevant social issues, because I simply do not have any time for it.
Aside from my own unavailability, another huge reason for me to not participate is that there are people out there who are way, way more qualified than I am to talk about these things, and that they usually don't like associating with me in particular.
Strange reason, yes, but let me explain in detail.
For starters, whenever I finally get the chance to read up on social issues, they're usually articles or social media posts written by people who happen to be within my own social circles. Not exactly people that I can call friends, though, as most of them find it below themselves to consider me as worthy of their company, but I have been acquainted with them somehow. Anyway, whenever I attempt to insert a thought into their conversations, I end up getting rebuffed, usually in a very harsh, condescending manner, probably because I sound stupid, or because the topic at hand is way out of my depth.
I've had one too many experiences of that sort in the past, and because of this I guess I've become party to our country's so-called "culture of ignorance", which is basically the tendency of "ordinary" people like me to shy away from intellectual discussion, usually expressed through the phrase, "andami mong alam!". This is mainly because almost all intelligent people that I know of are, well, dicks. From my own point of view, they all seem like intellectual elitist assholes who usually brush off the opinion of small people like me without even trying to consider the context of our opinion and the circumstances behind our inability to express our ideas as well as they can. So, for me, these supposedly all-encompassing social issues become the private realm of these stuck-up intellectuals, an invitation-only gentleman's club of elitist douche bags, and we are all left behind to simmer in our own soup of mediocrity. For people like me, we just end up going after the more personally relevant things, like being successful at our own jobs and our own lives, because we've been pushed away from the discourse.
Now I know that by saying I'm going to leave the more important issues to the smarter guys, it's gonna mean that I would have no choice but to surrender myself to wherever their intellectual revolution might take all of us. Well, in a way, I guess that's true. And it's not like I had any choice in the first place, since I'm too inept to be of any significance to any kind of intellectual discourse. As far as I'm concerned, what's important is that their tentacles do not approach the narrow bubble of space that is my own personal life. I could care less about what they do as long as I'm left alone to my own devices.
The last major reason for my non-participation is that, well, I'm still in the middle of my own existential crisis, hence the title of this blog. All the power that my limited mental capacities can muster are all focused on the questions of my own existence. My own purpose. Ultimately, my stances on religion, politics, society, and all that good stuff will all depend on my own moral compass and my own principles, which, at this point, are still under construction, so to speak.
So basically what I'm saying is, fuck the society for now. Eventually, I'll be a bit more mature about things, and I'll be more read up about stuff, and when that time comes, the public sphere can eat me whole, for all I care. But for now, I have more important things to take care of, so y'all will just have to catch me later, when I'm a little more prepped up for the talk.
No comments:
Post a Comment