Blog Name: the armchair wanderer
Blog Description: these are the the musings of a 23-year-old insignificant someone who hopes to be actually someone significant. tread carefully, reader, for you step on his thoughts.
Post Date: Monday, January 4, 2010
Post Title: Change, I need
Looks like I'm blogging again. Uh-huh.
But I already have my old blog. I could just log in to that site and post a new entry. That would make stuff easier. Probably.
So.. why am I here? Why start a new blog? I could think of a few reasons.
First, my old web friends that I follow on my old blog have moved on to other things. And nobody among those who are still active are interesting enough to follow. Plus, they don't really care about my 2 to 3-year-old entries. Who would care about old stuff, anyway (except for that random spambot that posts adverts on the comments area)?
Second, it's kinda awkward to start blogging again on that site when the last entry's a couple of years old. There would be no continuity. Besides, my writing and outlook on life has changed drastically over the years, and so to put my current ideas and writing style besides that of my younger self would not be logical. As in my entries back then were very, very juvenile. I mean, you don't even have to read the entries. My old username was already indicative of how childish I was back then. It's really surprising to find that some people took me seriously from time to time (although they do notice my childish thinking once they start following me).
Third, and most importantly, that old blog was a huge part in a particularly painful phase in my life's history. I experienced a lot of unnecessary headaches and heartaches during that phase of my life, and almost all of that experience was recorded on that blog. I literally cringe whenever I think of those memories, which were so painful that I stopped writing because of it. And that is why I don't want to read those old entries anymore. Browsing over writings of my former pains would just be masochistic, and I would want nothing else than to start over and forget my past life. As far as I'm concerned, my former self is already dead, along with my old blog.
Which brings me to my last reason. I really, really want to start the process of changing myself this year. I've already made peace with the fact that I am actually growing older every year, and to stick to the status quo would do me no good. The cold, hard inevitabilities of life are starting to hit me with each passing day, and the only way for me to survive the coming years would be to start the process of becoming mature as a person. I have proposed to myself several ideas that would help me start the necessary changes this new year.
One of them is starting this new blog.
What I noticed about myself was my particular lack of will to commit to anything. I love thinking about a lot of stuff, and a lot of ideas and musings occur in a single day of my life. And it feels quite wasteful for me to not write about these things. Unfortunately, sloth takes over my being whenever I attempt to write these ideas down. I'm really lazy, you know.
And not just about writing. My entire recent history has been shaped by my own laziness.
I've grown fat because of my own laziness. My studies have suffered due to my laziness. My relationships with people have failed due to my laziness (gawd I'm really itching to write about those, LOL). I've basically failed at life because of my own shortcomings.
And so, if I want to continue surviving, I need to change myself THIS YEAR.
I don't want 2010 to be a repeat performance of my recent failings.
So, this year, I am willing to counter that laziness. This year, I am going to heal my limp spirit and put my mind on a crutch.
I'll start exercising. I swear.
And I'll study harder.
And I'll start writing again.
